Teaching children is tough. I recall the time my wife, Pat, said to me, “Sweetheart, why don’t you put a little more into teaching the lesson for family home evening?” We had good lessons and times together, but she wanted a little more effort, you know, kind of like the Relief Society’s lessons. So I did. I went to the bookstore and bought some masonite, flannel material, characters for the story, Velcro, and colored pencils. I got the whole works. I made the flannel board, colored in the characters and things for the presentation, and prepared the lesson. I was ready to go. Monday night came. I was on fire. I started the lesson, and the children were in rapt attention for a minute. Then a child said, “How long will this last?” “Just a few minutes,” I responded, and on I went. Not more than a minute went by when another child said, “Did you get the donuts for treats?” I stopped and assured them that I had the donuts and continued the lesson. And then it happened—one of the older children, realizing the lesson was geared to the little ones, said, “Dad, I’ve got homework. How much longer?” That did it. I burst into tears and said, “I’ve worked for hours on this lesson and you don’t even care. You can’t even give me ten or fifteen minutes to help you.” Silence prevailed and then my sweetheart said, “Look what you have done to Daddy.” Then they all started to cry. They said they were sorry. I told them I was sorry, too. I told them I wanted to teach them because I loved them. Heavenly Father had asked me to help them grow up in light and truth and know the gospel of Jesus Christ. We have never forgotten that day for the greater lesson that was taught. Daddy and Mommy love us and want us to be happy, and that is why they spend so much time trying to teach us. Now all our children try to teach their children, our priceless grandchildren. (Ed J. Pinegar)
Continue to Teach; Be Diligent and Temperate in All Things
Alma is the paragon of parental teaching. He passes the torch to Shiblon and his other sons to continue with their priesthood duties, formulated in our day as the commission to “teach, expound, exhort, baptize, and watch over the church” (D&C 20:42).
President Ezra Taft Benson explores the profoundly important duty of parents to teach their children the principles of righteous living:
The obligation to teach the principles of the gospel to the youth of Zion rests squarely upon the parents of the Church. Not only is there an obligation to teach these principles, but the Lord says: “And their children shall be baptized for the remission of their sins when eight years old, and receive the laying on of the hands” (D&C 68:27)… .
Praise your children more than you correct them. Praise them for even their smallest achievement. Encourage your children to come to you for counsel with their problems and questions by listening to them every day. Discuss with them such important matters as dating, sex, and other matters affecting their growth and development, and do it early enough so they will not obtain information from questionable sources… .
Treat your children with respect and kindness—just as you would when guests are present. They are, after all, more meaningful to you than guests. Teach your children never to speak unkindly to others regarding members of the family. Be loyal to one another. Implant within children a desire to serve others. Teach them to be thoughtful to the aged, the sick, and the lonely. Help them to plan early for a mission so they can bless others who do not have the gospel… .
Parents are directly responsible for the righteous rearing of their children, and this responsibility cannot be safely delegated to relatives, friends, neighbors, the school, the church, or the state.
“I appeal to you parents, take nothing for granted about your children,” said President J. Reuben Clark, Jr. “The great bulk of them, of course, are good, but some of us do not know when they begin to go away from the path of truth and righteousness. Be watchful every day and hour. Never relax your care, your solicitude. Rule kindly in the spirit of the gospel and the spirit of the priesthood, but rule, if you wish your children to follow the right path.” Permissive parents are part of the problem… .
Parents, stay close to your children; you cannot delegate your responsibility to the educators, no matter how competent they may be. Parents have a duty to train their children, to talk over their problems with them, to discuss what they are learning at school. And it is neither wise nor safe to leave the determination of our educational system and policies exclusively to the professional educators. (The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1988], 499–500)