Nephi’s reluctance to slay Laban (v. 10) was not disobedience, but a reservation to do what was abhorrent to his nature. The Lord used Nephi’s slaying of Laban to teach the law of righteous retaliation to the Saints in the early days of the latter-day Church.
23 Now, I speak unto you concerning your families—if men will smite you, or your families, once, and ye bear it patiently and revile not against them, neither seek revenge, ye shall be rewarded;
24 But if ye bear it not patiently, it shall be accounted unto you as being meted out as a just measure unto you.
25 And again, if your enemy shall smite you the second time, and you revile not against your enemy, and bear it patiently, your reward shall be an hundred fold.
26 And again, if he shall smite you the third time, and ye bear it patiently, your reward shall be doubled unto you four-fold;
27 And these three testimonies shall stand against your enemy if he repent not, and shall not be blotted out.
28 And now, verily I say unto you, if that enemy shall escape my vengeance, that he be not brought into judgment before me, then ye shall see to it that ye warn him in my name, that he come no more upon you, neither upon your family, even your children’s children unto the third and fourth generation.
29 And then, if he shall come upon you or your children, or your children’s children unto the third and fourth generation, I have delivered thine enemy into thine hands;
30 And then if thou wilt spare him, thou shalt be rewarded for thy righteousness; and also thy children and thy children’s children unto the third and fourth generation.
31 Nevertheless, thine enemy is in thine hands; and if thou rewardest him according to his works thou art justified; if he has sought thy life, and thy life is endangered by him, thine enemy is in thine hands and thou art justified.
32 Behold, this is the law I gave unto my servant Nephi, and thy fathers, Joseph, and Jacob, and Isaac, and Abraham, and all mine ancient prophets and apostles. [D&C 98:23–32]
Three times Laban had reviled against Lehi’s sons. First, when Laman went to seek the records for his father, Laban was angry, thrust him out and threatened to slay him (3:13). Second, when they returned and offered to purchase the records, Laban again threatened them and robbed them of their riches (3:25). Third, Laban was not content to take their riches, but sent his servants to slay them (3:26). All three of these offenses are brought to Nephi’s mind as he deliberates the Spirit’s commandment to slay Laban. The Lord had delivered Laban into his hands (v. 11), the law of the Lord was revealed.
The second time the Spirit tells Nephi to slay Laban, he adds another reason, one usually quoted in defense of Nephi; “it is better that one man should perish than that a nation dwindle and perish in unbelief” (v. 13). This reasoning should not be used alone. The law of the Lord was given twice by the Spirit; “the Lord hath delivered him into thy hands” (vv. 11–12, compare D&C 98:29, 31 above). The Lord had revealed this law to all his “ancient prophets and apostles” (D&C 98:32) to bring about his righteous purposes. The Prophet “Samuel hewed Agag in pieces before the Lord” (1 Samuel 15:33). The Prophet “Elijah brought [the prophets of Baal] down to the brook Kishon, and slew them there” (1 Kings 18:40). Moses was commanded to “take all the heads of the people [who had joined unto Baal-peor] and hang them up before the Lord” (Numbers 25:1–5). Nevertheless, whatever the Lord’s reasons may be, mortal man cannot assume the responsibility to kill for the same reasons.
The Prophet Joseph added a further dimension applicable to the Laban situation:
That which is wrong under one circumstance, may be, and often is, right under another.
God said, “Thou shalt not kill”; at another time He said, “Thou shalt utterly destroy.” This is the principle on which the government of heaven is conducted—by revelation adapted to the circumstances in which the children of the kingdom are placed. Whatever God requires is right, no matter what it is, although we may not see the reason thereof till long after the events transpire. [TPJS, 256]
Some may deduce from this statement that truth is relative, but such reasoning is faulty. God understands the eternal and long-range effects of every situation and will always reveal the absolute truth. If the variables are the same, the same directions will be given. However, man is not able to comprehend the variables is as God. When we keep the commandments we comprehend God’s reasoning better. Knowledge as a principle of faith unto life and salvation is verified in Nephi’s slaying of Laban: “when a man is willing to sacrifice he will know” that the course he is pursuing is the will of the Lord (Lectures on Faith, 1:12, 15).